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Woking News: Top Articles
- Woking Town Centre Street a “Haven for Crime”
- Local Woking News Website Editor Trapped Inside His Head
- Human Remains and Pot of Gold Found on Windlesham Common – Not Suspicious Say Police
- Dogging Puts Horsell Back on the Map…
- Google Cause at Least 3 Weird People to Visit Woking
- No Conflict of Interest Claims CEO of Energy Company, wait, I mean CEO of Woking Borough Council…
- Camel Loose in Woking
- Woking has run out of News!
- Shock as Woman has £500 of Jewellery Stolen
- Town Planners hail Pig Flu as Cure to Parking Woes
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Woking News Farce
Woking Town Centre Street a “Haven for Crime”
May 15, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Although the specific nature of the crimes is unclear, it is universally assumed that crimes were committed by ‘youths’ wearing ‘hoodies’. Many of them are believed to have originated from another country, although there is wide-spread confusion over where this might be.
Today Woking News Farce can exclusively reveal that a local news website editor was trapped inside of his own head in his house in Horsell, Surrey. At 09:32 yesterday a team of 7 police officers obtained a court warrant to enter the house of the editor, who cannot be named, after fans of his website notified the authorities of a ‘dry spell’ on the website, with no new articles posted for over 6 months.
Human Remains and Pot of Gold Found on Windlesham Common – Not Suspicious Say Police
October 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Police released a prepared statement describing the recent discovery of human remains on Windlesham Common as “NOT suspicious.”
Dogging Puts Horsell Back on the Map…
October 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Linked with H.G. Wells’ ‘War of the Worlds’ and home to various species of ground nesting bee, Horsell has yet again gained national attention as a popular destination for ‘dogging’…
Google Cause at Least 3 Weird People to Visit Woking
September 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Woking was astir last night as 3 new weirdo’s were spotted halfway down Woodham Road with tin foil on their heads and wacky trousers obviously retained from the mid 70’s.
No Conflict of Interest Claims CEO of Energy Company, wait, I mean CEO of Woking Borough Council…
September 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Ray Morgan, Chief Executive of Woking Borough Council, has earlier today hit back against claims that being CEO for both the borough council and the energy company supplying the borough would lead to a lack of partiality.
Camel Loose in Woking
August 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Woking residents woke up to the news that a camel had got the hump at a local enclosure and decided to desert and go on the run.
Woking has run out of News!
August 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment
So – there is pretty much no Woking News.
Shock as Woman has £500 of Jewellery Stolen
August 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment
An air of unease hung over Woking yesterday after news was released by police that a woman was the victim of a mugging in the town square last Thursday.
Town Planners hail Pig Flu as Cure to Parking Woes
June 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Town planners were seen whooping with glee after it became apparent that Pig Flu would soon cure Woking’s parking woes.
Cyclists Rub it Right in Your Face
June 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment
As the ‘Tour Series Woking’ Event drew to a close yesterday evening, cyclists were able to fly past all the stationary traffic which had built up around the town, smiling and laughing manically at frustrated drivers who had actually been doing some work during the day.
Woking Borough Council have surpassed themselves with a real ‘in-your-face’, pants-down piss take. A letter signed by over 500 local residents was yesterday sent to the council offices to congratulate them on the coup.
Woking Scouts Hold Jumble Sale
May 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Woking 1st Scouts group have announced their annual jumble sale for 2009. Punters can expect to be greeted with the largest selection of other people’s rubbish ever, with…
Vandals Smash Surrey Police Helicopter
May 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Critical police aerial services have been hampered by vandals smashing windows of the Surrey Police helicopter last weekend.
Shock as Station Canopy Under-Performs
May 11, 2009 | 1 Comment
Critics and anybody with even a glimmer of intelligence have been proved right as it emerged that the Woking canopy has failed to produce the estimated amount of electricity…
Lib Dems Pioneer 20 ‘Mile-Per-Hour’ Zones
April 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Last week, Liberal Democrat Councillors unveiled plans to introduce 20 ‘Mile-Per-Hour’ zones across Horsell as part of a groundbreaking safety initiative.
The proposal follows government research released earlier this month which suggests…
Free Training for Dog Owners at Woking Pet Shop
April 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Woking’s local retail store ‘Pets at Residence’ offered local dog owners a free day’s training with their pets on Sunday the 19th of April.
The owners who came along were started off with the basic dog ownership skills, such as how to look the other way at just the right time to avoid seeing your dog take a crap…
Woking Lightbox displays Massive Jugs
April 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment
In a last-ditch attempt to counter critic’s claims that the Lightbox in Woking is simply a £20million shed, a new exibition has been announced featuring truly massive jugs.
Felicity Aylieff was pictured in local media with her hands held wide and…