Woking Borough Council have surpassed themselves with a real ‘in-your-face’, pants-down piss take.

A letter signed by over 500 local residents was yesterday sent to the council offices to congratulate them on the coup.

“Just when we thought nothing could debase the council further, they’ve really pulled out all the stops and kicked us squarely in the teeth.”

The commotion has resulted from the Council’s decision to bring the town to a complete stand-still in preparation for a miserably boring cycling event to be held on the 2nd June. Councillor Ray Durham was involved in preparations for the event:

“After wasting money hand-over-fist since we came to power we’ve been finding it difficult to keep the public surprised. When the cycle tour committee came to us and asked us to close the entire town for a day, we thought – this’ll really get them smack in the face, a real kick in the teeth.”

In addition to closing all of Woking’s major roads for the day with high delays expected across all routes, Woking Council have really gone the whole hog and have spent £10,000 cleaning the underside of the Victoria Arch Rail.

Local resident Tim Allen commented:

“It’s great that the council have finally cleared the walls under the Victoria Arch – It’s one of those jobs that wouldn’t cost much and will make a big difference for people underneath it… Sorry it cost how much?… Wow! They’ve done it again!”

Crowds of over 5 people are expected to flock to the event next month, with spectators mainly consisting of the cyclist’s parents and body-hair-removers.

More Woking News.


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