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Cyclists Rub it Right in Your Face
June 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment
As the ‘Tour Series Woking’ Event drew to a close yesterday evening, cyclists were able to fly past all the stationary traffic which had built up around the town, smiling and laughing manically at frustrated drivers who had actually been doing some work during the day.
Five miles of crowd-restraining barriers had been erected for the event, with crowd numbers exceeding five mothers and an elderly woman who was unable to cross the road.
The competing cyclists could be seen warming up around the town centre, using melodramatic stretches designed to flaunt their well-muscled and hairless legs to passers-by.
Damien Cheyne from Essex took part in the amateur level race and commented: “This is a great event and we’re all pushing the same message – We’re better than you. We’re fitter, take less sick leave, are more focused and have more attractive children. You should take up cycling, but it’s so hard you would almost certainly fail.”
“I’m really looking forward to cycling home past the queues of stationary traffic. I made this banner which says ‘I’m better than you!!!’ and I put three exclamation marks on the end.”
“The only disappointment throughout the day was the ugly railway bridge before the finish line – you’d have thought they’d have made an effort to put some murals up or something?”