Local Woking News Website Editor Trapped Inside His Head

June 9, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Today Woking News Farce can exclusively reveal that a local news website editor was trapped inside of his own head in his house in Horsell, Surrey. At 09:32 yesterday a team of 7 police officers obtained a court warrant to enter the house of the editor, who cannot be named, after fans of his website notified the authorities of a ‘dry spell’ on the website, with no new articles posted for over 6 months.

Human Remains and Pot of Gold Found on Windlesham Common – Not Suspicious Say Police

October 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Police released a prepared statement describing the recent discovery of human remains on Windlesham Common as “NOT suspicious.”

Shock as Woman has £500 of Jewellery Stolen

August 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment

An air of unease hung over Woking yesterday after news was released by police that a woman was the victim of a mugging in the town square last Thursday.

Vandals Smash Surrey Police Helicopter

May 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Critical police aerial services have been hampered by vandals smashing windows of the Surrey Police helicopter last weekend.

Woking Town Centre Street a “Hotspot for Crime”

April 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Woking Town Centre a Haven for Street Crime… Police suspect youths wearing ‘Hoodies’ involved…

    Woking News Horoscope

    Pisces News

    You will catch a rare fungal infection inbetween your toes. Don't tell your friends, but do see a doctor.

    Aquarius News

    You will be forced to make a difficult decision. Our advice? Choose the donut. The one with the sprinkles.

    Capricorn News

    Start using an electric toothbrush for that dentist-clean feeling.

    Sagittarius News

    This month, the intertwining planets bring you great wisdom. You should bookmark this website and share it with your friends on Facebook. Now.

    Scorpio News

    Learn to fart in tune and you will reap the sweet sweet rewards of life.

    Libra News

    This is a bad month for leaving the house. Maybe consider internet shopping and knitting.

    Virgo News

    You are not spending enough of your life playing addicting internet games. Is this truly your decision, or are you just plain scared?

    Leo News

    A cloud obscures your future this month. It might be good, it might not. It might be cloudy. Things should be just fine, or should they?

    Cancer News

    You should bake a cake. Cover it with sprinkles and love.

    Gemini News

    This month, you must discover the hidden writer within. Why not write an article for a local spoof online newspaper and email it to the editor? If you don't do this you will almost certainly die.

    Taurus News

    Your star sign the bull is making you as horny as a hotdog. Try to steer clear of the opposite gender to avoid turning into a drooling pervert.

    Aries News

    A comet inadvertently flew into Jupiter, your home planet. Beware of unexpected collisions. Is your car insurance up to date?