Local Woking News Website Editor Trapped Inside His Head

June 9, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Today Woking News Farce can exclusively reveal that a local news website editor was trapped inside of his own head in his house in Horsell, Surrey. At 09:32 yesterday a team of 7 police officers obtained a court warrant to enter the house of the editor, who cannot be named, after fans of his website notified the authorities of a ‘dry spell’ on the website, with no new articles posted for over 6 months.

Human Remains and Pot of Gold Found on Windlesham Common – Not Suspicious Say Police

October 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Police released a prepared statement describing the recent discovery of human remains on Windlesham Common as “NOT suspicious.”

Google Cause at Least 3 Weird People to Visit Woking

September 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Woking was astir last night as 3 new weirdo’s were spotted halfway down Woodham Road with tin foil on their heads and wacky trousers obviously retained from the mid 70’s.

Cyclists Rub it Right in Your Face

June 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment

As the ‘Tour Series Woking’ Event drew to a close yesterday evening, cyclists were able to fly past all the stationary traffic which had built up around the town, smiling and laughing manically at frustrated drivers who had actually been doing some work during the day.

Woking Borough Council Congratulated for Truly Stunning Piss-Take.

May 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Woking Borough Council have surpassed themselves with a real ‘in-your-face’, pants-down piss take. A letter signed by over 500 local residents was yesterday sent to the council offices to congratulate them on the coup.

Woking Scouts Hold Jumble Sale

May 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Woking 1st Scouts group have announced their annual jumble sale for 2009. Punters can expect to be greeted with the largest selection of other people’s rubbish ever, with…

Free Training for Dog Owners at Woking Pet Shop

April 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Woking’s local retail store ‘Pets at Residence’ offered local dog owners a free day’s training with their pets on Sunday the 19th of April.

The owners who came along were started off with the basic dog ownership skills, such as how to look the other way at just the right time to avoid seeing your dog take a crap…

    Woking News Horoscope

    Pisces News

    You will catch a rare fungal infection inbetween your toes. Don't tell your friends, but do see a doctor.

    Aquarius News

    You will be forced to make a difficult decision. Our advice? Choose the donut. The one with the sprinkles.

    Capricorn News

    Start using an electric toothbrush for that dentist-clean feeling.

    Sagittarius News

    This month, the intertwining planets bring you great wisdom. You should bookmark this website and share it with your friends on Facebook. Now.

    Scorpio News

    Learn to fart in tune and you will reap the sweet sweet rewards of life.

    Libra News

    This is a bad month for leaving the house. Maybe consider internet shopping and knitting.

    Virgo News

    You are not spending enough of your life playing addicting internet games. Is this truly your decision, or are you just plain scared?

    Leo News

    A cloud obscures your future this month. It might be good, it might not. It might be cloudy. Things should be just fine, or should they?

    Cancer News

    You should bake a cake. Cover it with sprinkles and love.

    Gemini News

    This month, you must discover the hidden writer within. Why not write an article for a local spoof online newspaper and email it to the editor? If you don't do this you will almost certainly die.

    Taurus News

    Your star sign the bull is making you as horny as a hotdog. Try to steer clear of the opposite gender to avoid turning into a drooling pervert.

    Aries News

    A comet inadvertently flew into Jupiter, your home planet. Beware of unexpected collisions. Is your car insurance up to date?